La Petite Princesse

Someone should really warn you about business school.

I’m sitting in my Strategy class and feeling wistful, thinking about that first traumatic day at the beginning of the semester - the day I was introduced to the cold call picker, or as I like to call it, the “mean fox”.

Let me set the stage for you: I’m sitting in class, having read the first case (on Ducati, pretty cool case, whatevz) but not really sure what to expect. My cohort-mates and I had been trained in the Ways of Melvyn, our first-semester marketing professor who had us prepare each case meticulously. Melvyn had a weakness, though – if you looked prepared, he didn’t call on you. Not sure if it was subconscious or what b/c I was always prepared and I never got called on but the people that were sitting there shuffling their papers always did. Anyway, so I’m sitting there all pleased with myself and my case preparation. Here’s what happens: Professor introduces himself and mentions that he’s really quite friendly despite previous-year student complaints that he’s “arrogant and unapproachable.” Cool. Then, the projector comes down. We see an application with a list of all of our names up on the screen. Channeling Al Pacino in Scarface, Professor says, “Say hello to my little friend” and presses a button on his desktop with what looks like a jumping fox on it. The names begin to scroll quickly until he presses the button again. It lands on a name. And so began my first experience with a cold-call picker. The mean fox. BTW, I don’t think the mean fox is so random considering it picked me when we did the Gucci case. I know, RIGHT?

Things You Should Know About Business School

• You get a big-ass name card and you have to have it on you at all times, otherwise the professor might call you “Heidi”.
• You pretty much have to create a powerpoint for every time you go to the bathroom.
• “Open book, open notes” isn’t as good as it sounds.
• If you don’t already have an annoying, dysfunctional family that’s all up in your grill all day, you have one now!